Better Than Dad
by HouseZing
Summary: Rachel really, really, really wants to celebrate Father's Day. Zero angst, total fluff.


As my timeline on Facebook was filling up with posts about how wonderful everyone's dads are, this idea came to me. Warning: This story is so sugar-coated, you may get a stomach ache after reading. Also, as of note, I head electroshock therapy (not really) to remove every memory after House and Cuddy's under-the-bed kiss in Bombshells, so in this story, they are together. And will always be together. You will be able to tell within the first couple of words that I do not own House, because I actually think it is possible to tell a story that does not end in doom and gloom.

Enjoy!

"Mama! Mama!"

Rachel came barreling down the sidewalk as fast as her little legs would take her, art project in one hand and her backpack in the other.

Cuddy laughed as she opened the rear door of the SVU to let her daughter in. Buckling her into the car seat she asked the mini-Cuddy. "Did you have fun at camp today?"

"Yea! We went swimmin' and then we went for a walk and I found a worm. And Charlie was a scared of the worm, so I chased him with it. It was so funny." Rachel giggled to herself.

Cuddy rolled her eyes in amusement. Ever since she had started to date House, Rachel had developed an affinity for the things that little girls usually saw as gross. "You didn't get in trouble did you?"

Rachel shook her head. "No mama, I'm always good. And then guess what else happened?"

"What, honey?" Cuddy had returned to the driver seat and pulled out of the parking lot.

"On Fwiday, all the daddies get to come to camp cos it's Father's Day on Sunday. And I want House to come."

Cuddy frowned. House was currently at a conference in Pittsburgh until Friday that she was forcing him to attend much to his chagrin.

"_Cuddddyyyy," he whined. "Why are you making me go? I haven't even had one HR complaint this month. This is cruel and unusual punishment."_

_Cuddy chuckled to herself. Sometimes it was harder to rationalize things to him than to her four year-old daughter. "Not everything I make you do as your boss is because you're an asshole. Sometimes I want to show off my biggest hospital asset to the world." _

"_And here I thought you were dating me because of my penis size."_

"_Just do this one thing for me House. It's only three days and I promise I will make it worth your while." _

_House smirked. "You already make it worth my while. Four times a week."_

_If she wasn't embattled in yet another round of negotiations with him, Cuddy would have thought that to be a very sweet comment. For House, at least. "Last weekend of June, I'm sending Rachel to my mom's. I won't be wearing anything that weekend, not even socks." _

_She knew she had won when she looked at House and saw him already creating a mental picture. "You drive a hard bargain woman. I accept your terms."_

_He stuck out his hand for Cuddy to shake. When she took it, he pulled her into him and began ravishing her neck. _

It wasn't only that House wouldn't even be there, but she didn't know how comfortable House would be, being presented as her father. Sure, he and Rachel got along famously. They had their own secret world that Cuddy didn't even attempt to understand. But Cuddy and House had never discussed anything of this nature – what kind of role he wanted to play in her life, etc. He came over, he played with Rachel, he treated her like a human being, and that was enough for now.

Curious, Cuddy asked. "Rachel, have you ever talked to House about being your daddy?"

"Yep." Like it was no big deal.

"What did you two talk about?"

"We were playing Pirates one day and I asked him if he was my daddy. And he said no."

Of course. House had no filter, even when it came to a four year-old.

Rachel's voice got excited. "He said he was better than a daddy. That he was House. He said if he was my daddy then he couldn't give me secret cookies and would have to put me in time-out if I was bad."

Cuddy laughed. Looks like she was stuck being the disciplinarian. "Were you okay with that, Rach?"

Rachel nodded her hair. "Yeah – cos he said that even though he's not my daddy, he still loves me like a daddy. And that he would make anyone walk the plank if they hurt me."

And that's when Cuddy started to cry. Despite his numerous flaws, he really was too perfect for his own good sometimes.

"Mama's sad?" Another trait Rachel had picked up from House – being overly perceptive of everything.

"No, mama's not sad baby." She quickly wiped the tear from her cheek. "Rachel, House is out of town at work and won't be back until Friday afternoon so he's not going to be able to go to camp with you."

Rachel's shoulders slumped.

"Which means, we're just going to have to do something extra special at home to show House how much we love him."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Rachel clapped, the feeling of disappointment of House's absence already gone. "I can make him a card and draw him a picture. And we can bake him a cake. Chocolate. That's his favorite. Whenever I have chocolate, he always takes some from my plate."

Rachel's lips were moving a mile a minute, but Cuddy's mind had drifted off, getting an idea of her own.

Two and a half days later, Cuddy and Rachel were sitting on the kitchen table, eagerly awaiting House's return.

"Now you remember what we talked about, Rachel?"

Rachel was clutching the card she had made for House in both hands, her legs swinging back and forth from the chair in anticipation. "Yes. I'm staying here 'til you call for me. Then when you call my name, I'm gonna come runnin'."

"And are you going to tell him about the surprise in the backyard?"

"No. We zipped our lips, remember mommy?" She pretended to pull the zipper closed on her lips and Cuddy did the same.

Just then they both heard the keys turning the door. Cuddy got up from the table and walked to the door, turning back to Rachel with her finger on her lips.

"Honey, I'm home!" House called out.

"Hey!" She said, walking up to him, pressing a kiss to his lips and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I missed you – who was the evil person that made you leave for three days?"

"She's a real dictator, but she puts her boobs in my face so I let it slide."

Cuddy laughed. "I got no calls from the conference so I guess I can assume that you didn't make anyone cry."

"Nope. I was on my best behavior. And by best behavior, I mean I only attended half of the lectures I was supposed to. The other half of the time I was at the advertising convention in the same hotel picking up some cool swag." He lifted up the bag in his left hand as proof.

"Well, I can't fault you for your honesty," Cuddy replied.

"Where's Rachel? I got her something."

The comment made Cuddy's heart swell. "You know, sometimes I forget just how much I love you."

"I was gone three days, not three months. You didn't discover I was dying or anything, did you?"

"No." Cuddy laughed. Then she called out for her daughter. "Rachel! House is here!"

House heard his name being yelled repeatedly before he heard the pitter patter of her bare feet against the hardwood floor.

"House! House! House!" She leapt into his arms. "All the daddies came to camp on Friday and we had a party. But you weren't here. So me and mama wanted to have a party for you here. And I made you this card. And we baked a cake. And mama let me put the icing on the cake. And it's chocolate. Your favorite."

"Whoa!" House tightened his grip. "Take a breath there shorty."

He looked at Cuddy. "What's she talking about?"

Cuddy said, "Father's Day is on Sunday. She was adamant about celebrating."

Then she mouthed silently to him. "Play along."

"Yes, I'm abadamant 'bout celebrating." Rachel tried to echo her mother's words.

"I made you this." She said, handing him the card.

House was rendered speechless, not exactly sure how to handle this. He knew that Rachel looked up to him, but he never realized, or rather, never acknowledged that Rachel saw him as a father figure.

He placed Rachel back on the ground and began reading his card out loud.

"Happy House Day." He opened the card. "Thank you for being better than a daddy. For being a House. Love, your little Bloody Scallywag." The writing was accompanied by an attempted drawing of a pirate with a cane and what he could only assume was a female pirate with an eye patch.

House inhaled sharply. Jesus Christ, was someone in the kitchen chopping onions? This was not the House he knew. The House he knew definitely would not get choked up over some card a four year-old made for him.

Finally, getting a hold of himself, he looked down at Rachel and rubbed her head affectionately. "Thank you Rachel. I love it. I gotta say, for a four year-old, your handwriting is impeccable."

Cuddy interrupted. "I may have helped with the writing. But the words, those were all hers."

All House could do was smile at her.

Cuddy leaned in to kiss him. House grabbed the back of her head and held her there, deepening the kiss ever so slightly.

"Yuck!" Rachel squealed.

Cuddy laughed as Rachel tugged on her t-shirt.

"Mama." Rachel tried to whisper. "Can I tell him the other secret now?"

So much for that surprise. Cuddy looked at House and noticed that he was still trying to absorb everything that had happened in the past five minutes. Sensing he needed a moment, she looked down at Rachel.

"Hey Rach, why don't you go lay out the paper plates for the cake later. I'm going to help House put his bags up. Then we can tell him the secret."

"Okay!" And just like that, she took off to the kitchen.

When Rachel was out of earshot, Cuddy grabbed House by his shoulders. "I'm sorry to spring all of this on you. But once she got this idea in her head, there was no talking her out of it."

"Like mother, like daughter," he replied.

"So…..are you okay with all of this?"

"It's not the welcome I was receiving. I was expecting less handmade art projects and children and more lingerie and whip cream. But this is…" He paused for a moment, almost surprising himself with what he was about to say. "Nice."

"Who says there will be no lingerie later on?" She grabbed his hand. "Come on. Gotta make sure Rachel hasn't started eating the cake with her hands."

Once Rachel saw House and Cuddy enter the kitchen, she ran to the back door. "Ok, House. Follow me. I got to show you the secret."

House looked at Cuddy questioningly, but followed Rachel out the door obediently. What he saw next made his jaw drop. Rachel was already climbing onto the playground set that was in the shape of a pirate's ship.

"Now we can play Pirates for real, House!" Rachel called from the helm.

House turned to Cuddy. "I thought you hated our pirate talk."

Cuddy smiled. "I can't say it's my favorite quality about you, but I see how much Rachel enjoys it. How can I say no to the two most important people in my life?"

She paused. "So, what do you think?"

House scanned the scene in front of him before replying honestly. "I see how Rachel is going to love it. Not _quite _sure what I'm supposed to get out of it."

"I knew you were going to say that." She pointed to something he hadn't noticed before. "See that tub there, under the plank?"

He slowly nodded.

"That is a hot tub." She leaned to his ear and whispered. "For two."

"I told you, Wilson and I do NOT have that type of relationship."

Cuddy laughed.

"Cuddy, I love it. I do, really. But what is all of this for? If it's because I've finally started to drink milk from a glass rather than the carton, then we really need to work on adjusting your standards."

"Rachel told me about the conversation you had about not being her father." She bit her lip nervously.

"Kinda gathered that from the card...Look, I know I should have told you about it or talked with you first..."

Cuddy cut him off. "I'm not mad at all, House. What you said was perfect. I just see how much Rachel loves you. Sometimes, I don't give you enough credit for all the good things you do, of which there are plenty. I guess that's the hospital administrator in me, focusing on what can be improved."

House pulled her into him. "In case you were wondering, I never forget how much I love you. But a grand, over-the-top, ridiculous romantic gesture never hurts."

"This isn't ridiculous." She swatted him on the shoulder.

"Cuddy, it's a pirate ship with a hot tub. It is, actually, the very definition of ridiculous."

"And yet, you haven't wiped that stupid smile off your face since you've seen it," Cuddy countered.

House looked down at her in his arms. "No, I guess I haven't."

Cuddy squeezed him tighter then looked up to meet his gaze. "Now, about those secret cookies….."

THE END.


End file.
